Oh, I'm leeeeeaaavin' ON a jet plane! Don't know when I'll be back again...

Ok, that's not true, I know I'll be back on Saturday, but I AM leaving for Pasadena in approximately 5 1/2 hours. I got bumped passed a waiting list of people to attend some stupid class for work. Normally my gypsy soul LOVES to travel for these things, but this time it's stupid 'cause it's last minute, and (while even that doesn't bother me) I have to miss my friend Lisa's wedding for it. I can't even decline the class. If I don't take it I can't get leveled (that's promoted to you and me, kids) and I can't get my yearly raise. My proverbial hands are tied. I usually like my hands tied, but this... not so much...

I get on a plane at 1 o'clock NY time, out of Islip McArthur. I happen to live nanoseconds from that airport, and every time I have to fly for business that fact makes me happy. I'll get to LAX at 7 pm, roughly. I don't even have time to enjoy it in Cali. I have classes on Thursday and Friday, then I get on a plane on Saturday at 8:45am. There was no way I was taking a Red Eye on Friday, I'm WAY to much of a priss... ok, not really. My manager suggested I stay the extra night so I didn't have to suffer a red eye. Things like that never occur to me...

So, off I go. I'm gonna go run now, as the time difference always makes it nearly impossible to work out when I go to these things...

Ta...

2005.

The Year of the Corn.

Yeah, yeah, it's me... No one is reading this now, though. Everyone thinks I've fallen off planet Blog. But no... I'm just lazy.

So here's the high light reel of Jessica's Life:

1) I got a tattoo. Yep, you read it right, I GOT a TATOO. It's in the center of my lower back, and it's the words "Hopes and Dreams" in Japanese. The letters run down my spine and end at the tail bone. I just love it. It makes me happy on a daily basis. Although, there was some concern among friends and family (and me) that I might end up with "Egg Roll Lover", or "Stoopid Wound Eye" written on my ass... But I did my research... I actually took a print out into a Sushi place that I go to in Garden City and asked the guy. "Can you tell me what this says?" So that was my confirmation.

2) We moved into a new apartment. It's FAB. I'm actually in the guest room/office right now. I can't BEGIN to tell you how great it is to have an extra room! And I'm having boo coo fun decorating... My cats spent the first week here in a perpetual state of freak out. They screamed for the first hour in the place, and then hid under the bed for the next two days... but they're much better now...

3) My company is training me for management. Oh, and as of September I am STILL ranked #1 in sales IN THE NATION. It's the scariest thing ever. I've been in this spot since January, no one has been able to push me out. I actually made more money on ONE of my three drugs than anyone else in my division made on ALL THREE of theirs put together. Pant pant. I DETEST bragging, and I NEVER talk about this, but I had to get it off my chest, cause now the pressure is on to just finish these last few months on top... if someone else has a really strong last few months I won't end the year ranked #1. A few months ago that wouldn't have seemed like such a big deal, but now I'm spoiled...

4) Thanksgiving is upon us... and I'M MAKING DINNER. Yeah, you all read that right. Jessica's in the kitchen and the apocalypse is nigh. I am the single LEAST domestic chick I know. I'm missing that house wife gene... There will be 13 people at my house, and I'm a liiiiiiiiittle panicked. There's a 19lb fresh turkey in my fridge right now, and periodically I go in to stare it down like some alien enemy in my midst. This ought to be fun. I'm sure you'll all read about it when I next post in March...
The good part is that a few years ago I asked my Mom (who ALWAYS does the holidays) what I should bring for dinner. Everyone always brings a vegetable dish to help out, and my job was Corn. Well friends and neighbors I brought so much corn they're STILL talking about it. I'm talking a VAT of corn, ok? I was terrified that we'd run out and everyone would remember that I had screwed up the corn. Well, they remember it alright. When we pulled up to my parents house, Al BOUNDED out of the car, leaving me struggling with my ginormous casserole dish and extra 5 cans on the floor of the car, to run up the house and tell everyone, "Nobody worry! The CORN is HERE!!" When my uncle heard that Thanksgiving was at my place this year the first thing he said was, "So we know there'll be corn..." It was THREE YEARS AGO, PEOPLE!!! LET IT DIE!!
But no.
However... they know not with whom they fuck....
In my house right now... Anxiously awaiting Thanksgiving Day: Loose frozen corn, Corn on the Cob, Creamed Corn, Corn Relish, Corn Chips (yellow AND blue), Popped Corn, Corn Bread, Corn Muffins, Popped Corn BALLS, AND Candy Corn.
Never play in my Humor House. I will charge you rent.