To say that there has been a lot going on here would be the understatement of the day. I would be of the year, but understatements run rampant around here, so it's hard to judge one from another.

So I'm sitting here waiting for my bestest friend Jen to pick me up so we can head off to Mohegan Sun. YEA! YEA!! I'm really excited. We're going to go to the spa, and get polluted at the fancy schmancy nite clubs, and eat things that are specifically NOT on my diet, and it's gonna be GREAT! I'll fill you in on all the details that won't get me incriminated after I get back.

Al's parents are still in Nevada, handling all of the crazy that goes along with a loved ones passing. She went so suddenly that there was no time to tell Al's dad goodbye, or let him know where all of her info was. Just here, then gone. She was a tough lady, and it doesn't surprise me a bit that she went all at once. She wasn't one to stick around if she wasn't able to look good. For those who want to know, pull the plug when it's my time. Al and I are getting a health care proxy soon. We have to protect me from my psycho mom, who would gladly wipe the drool from my vacant face for the next 40 years, claiming that the fact that I COULD drool was proof of life.

On the good news front: Work is going very well for me. Not only did I win a sales contest that awarded me a beautiful Bob Mackie 6 piece luggage set, not only did I win ANOTHER contest that awarded me $400 in Amex "points" that we have decided to apply to a Norwegian cruise, not ONLY did my district win District of the Year for last year awarding me AND Al an all expenses paid trip to Las Vegas, But, Drum roll please.........................................................

As of January I am ranked NUMBER ONE IN THE NATION.

That's right friends and neighbors, I am the number one sales rep in my division in America. And the psycho manager of the cult I used to work for called me the laziest person he'd ever met. HA! What this means, if I can maintain the rank, is that I will probably get President's club (an all expense paid trip for me and Al to wherever they choose. Last year was Maui, this year will be Bermuda, next year is unknown yet.), a LOVELY bonus in June, and my name on all of the big wig's lips. I'll move up faster by proxy.

So that's my good news in the midst of all the bad. Add to that that Jen and Brian got four tickets to see Spamalot in July, and my year is complete! Life is good... and bad... so confusing...

O.k., so Al is still in Nevada with his parents. His Aunt has passed away, and they're all trying to settle all of her affairs and cope as best they can. Al's mom is executer of the will, which means she will most likely be there for the rest of the month sorting things out. At the request of the family, I'm not putting the address here on the blog site, but anyone who wants to contact Al or send anything to the family please call me, or e-mail @ stoneburnerjessica@hotmail.com.

Hey, kids. Got some sad news. Last Monday AL's parents got word that his Aunt Bette in Nevada had had a heart attack. They flew out there to help her get back to good health. Unfortunately, the heart attack was the least of the worries. Over the course of the week they would discover that she had also had a stroke, was now in renal failure, and couldn't breath on her own. After an MRI and a brain scan it was decided to take her off of Life support this morning. Al is in Nevada with his parents now, so he can help with the arrangements. This was his dad's sister, and only relative, so dad is handling this by yelling at Al's mom a lot. It all happened pretty suddenly, so they're all kind of in shock.

Aunt Bette had done the smart thing. She had a written DRN that stipulated that they should try whatever they could, but she was to only be kept going if she could resume a normal life. NO vegitative state for her. According to my mom, I'd better write that down somewhere for Al, because she'd fight to keep me alive as a carrot if she had to.

You are 'juggling'. Jugglers, tumblers, and other
street performers were a very popular sort of
entertainment once, before movies and talkies
and online quizzes supplanted them.
You like to put on a show for people, and they like
to watch. You are friendly and well-liked,
particularly for your sense of humor, although
you sometimes play with people's heads. You
are frequently the center of attention, and you
like it that way. However, you have to realize
that the world does not revolve around you.
Furthermore, you have to learn that your
light-hearted antics are not appropriate to all
situations. Your problem is that juggling has
been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by

Happy St. Patrick's Day all you Irish out there! And to you too, you Irish-By-Proxy! In honor of the day, Al and I will be eating lasagna with corn, and Duck L'orange with ham steak.

Luck to all!

Have no time for complete post STOP Saw world's worst movie this weekend STOP Had Vin Diesel in it STOP Discovered still have amazing and stupid knack for winning at Uno STOP Got call for interview in near future with GlaxoSmitKlein in NC STOP Will fill in later

STOP

I am BACK on Long Island. I know you were all worried sick over where I might have been these past few days, but worry no more! I have returned.

Last Thursday my mom, dad, and I went to Miami to visit my youngest sister at school. She goes to Florida International University in Miami. When we got there it was 55 degrees, raining, and windy to the tune of 40 mph. Yea.

However... coming from 20 degrees in NY, we were walking around in tank tops and shorts, happy as pigs in crap. And if anyone else calls me Pig I'll weep like a school girl.

We had a great time, family bickering not withstanding, and South Beach is a GREAT area. I got to see J-Lo's house on Star Island, go to Bongo's, the club owned by Gloria Estefan, and see the spot that Versace was standing when he got shot. So Cool. I also got second degree sunburn on Saturday, so now I sport scaly lizard-skin shoulders. Sexy. Apparently, the fact that it was ONLY 70 out, and felt so mild to me meant that the SUN has NO POWER to BURN. My retardation knows no bounds, you see. I PACKED sunscreen, but never thought to put it on. Dumbass... They call it a sunburn... not a temperatureburn.

On the opposite end of the weather spectrum, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in Boston. I had PLANNED to spend only Tuesday, however, the blizzard that closed down Logan Airport had plans of it's own. I had to go back to the hotel Tuesday night, stay over, and try again Wednesday. I booked a 10am flight to LaGuardia on Wednesday morning... and landed in LGA at 3:30pm. Mull THAT over for a while. I got into LGA, got my bags, found my car, and had juuuuust enough time to dart out to Manhattan for the 7:00 dinner meeting I had set up with one of my Cardiologists. Such is the life of the busy career woman.

On the sad news front I was informed that the position that I was chasing in Philly is not going to be filled this year, so that puts the kibash on that. Also, I was told to prepare myself for the fact that the guy in North Carolina that is hiring the OTHER job I want will most likely hire someone local. It just looks better for him to hire someone that the company doesn't have to pay to relocate. Sad. I am now in a holding pattern, unable to make a definitive move until the NC position is filled. If it's filled by ME, then all is well. If NOT, then it's on to plan B.

I blame my mother, who has informed me that she's been praying that God doesn't allow me to get the job out of state, but that he instead improves our financial situation so that we can stay here. Because I so desperately WANT to spend $9,00 a year in property taxes on a postage stamp sized scrap of land. I NEEEEED to be 550K in the hole for a one bedroom, one bath slum in Hempstead. That WOULD be a gift from God!

But, hey! We'd be around whenever they wanted to see us, right?

Shoot me.