So NO ONE wants to comment on the obviously stoned rambling in my last post??? My friend Jen had to tell me to go re-read it so I could experience the acid trip for myself... again.

I've got Strep Throat, for those who were dying to know what became of my cold. It hurts like a bastard, and I whine like a mule, but only to Al. Consider yourselves lucky. I actually went to work today anyway. For several reasons:
1) My doctor is in Garden City, which is my territory.
2) I'm vyying for a promotion, and don't want to be out
too much right now.
3) I'm OCD girl, and I can't relax for a second even
when I'm deathly ill, believing that the earth will
discontinue to spin on it's axis if I'm out of commission
for even a few nano-seconds. Pity Al.

So now I'm home, typing this and watching Buffy on DVD... and loading the dish washer, and vacuuming the rug, and clearing out my summer clothes that no longer fit..............

Sick, Sick, Sick. My throat feels like I swallowed a piece of glass. Bleh. I need some Tylenol, dammit!! All I have is Tylenol PM. See you when the coma wears off...

Went out dancing last night to a cool place called the Rare Olive. It was loads of fun, and it helped me remember just how perfect I really am. I gage this by the amount of horrific mocking my friend Jen and I can de behind the backs of strangers. My perfection level was WAAAAAAAAAAY up last night.

I love to go dancing. There's just not enough places on Long Island that cater to my... um... demographic, shall we say? That's a nice way of saying mid-old people. We've found planty of places that are over-run with fake ID'd teens and too-much-cologne-wearing twenty somethings. We are the "old folks" in these places. Then there are the places that place more modern music, but the clientel is well over 40. We are the "sexy young things" at these places. Sadly, both of those groups make me want to kill myself. This place last night was mostly people our age, so it was good. It was me, Jen, Jen's barbie doll look-alike friend Kelly, and six of Kelly's very blond, very pretty, VERY stoned friends. Very funny.

Oky doeky, my PM is kicking my AM, so that's all I got. I'm litteraly typing with one hand, while the other is propping up my head. 'Nite all. If you need to reach me go here:

jessicastoneburner@ihatepeople//butilovegatherings.isntthatironic.com

My Husband is a Bridal Attendant. That's right, folks, you read it here first. Al's new job at Macy's is in the bridal department. He's dealing with the registry, not the dresses, so his job is actually with all of the registries in the computer, and explaining how to register to all the newly engaged couples that come in. He's particularly looking forward to handing over the scan gun to the grooms and letting them run free, laser tag style, like he did when we registered.

His boss' name is Sven. It's like the joke that tells itself.

So all is well.

I spoke too soon, Al got a job. He was literally in his suit, dressed and ready to leave for an interview with Enterprise Rent-A-Cult when Macy's called and offered him a full time position. There's more involved, but I've signed a gag order. I don't think he wants me NOT to talk about it so much as he likes the kinky stuff.

Or maybe he just likes to gag me. I talk a lot.

Merry New Year! I am shamed into returning by Ghost who has re-begun the blog tradition. Here I am with very little to say... o.k., that's a lie, I've got lots going on, but it exhausts me just thinking about trying to tell it.

First, Al and I have pretty much decided to pool our efforts into trying to escape the tractor beam keeping us here on Long Island. It isn't that I don't like it here (although Al hates it with the blinding intensity of a thousand white hot suns), it's just that we can't see our way to paying 300K minimum for a 1 bedroom 1 bath cracker box sized house on a postage stamp of land. It feels like we're flushing money down the toilet once a month to rent, but we've no choice.

So, to that end, we have come up with two options: 2-3 hours from LI, or 2-3 hours from my sister in North Carolina. I don't feel right moving to a new state if it's impossible to see the people we love with any frequency. I've begun stalking a gentelman in upper management who works in my company and has a job opportunity in NC. Raliegh to be exact. The job would pay much more and be the requisite time from my sister. The exact same position is also open in Philly. I know the gentelman in charge of THIS job very well, and have already begun interviewing for both. I would accept either position, but REALLY hope for the NC. I hate the cold, and Philly promises nothing but that.

Also, Al is out of work. Mentioning this my way of networking. Anyone know anyone who might have a job opening for a guy with several years of management experience and several years of outside sales experience? Anyone?? Let us know. The amount of time a couple can survive on only one income in this town is 23 seconds before bankruptcy sets in. Give a hand people, we have cats to support!!

I'd abandoned the diet for the holidays and am finding it tremendously difficult to go back. I HAVE maintained at 153 from the last day I was actively on the diet. This dispite everyone who told me that the second I went off such a low calorie regiment I would "gain it all back plus." I think it messes with people to hear that the truth of weight loss is to cut calories. It feels crappy to be deprived, so no one wants to do it. It's a miracle pill society, and the "miracle" was discovered at the turn of the century. Oh well. I'm still shooting for the elusive 140lbs. That's what my doctor and I set. Cross your fingers.

JOY MOMENT! For my birthday, which is more than a month away, my best friend Jen is taking me to Mohegan Sun and Spa for a weekend!! Huzzah! So happy. There will be drinking, dancing, hot stone massages, facials (shut up you dirty boys), and pillow fights (now you can giggle guys)! I can't wait! I think that no matter what your financial situation you should always be planning for a "next big getaway." It brightens the spirit. Poor Jen had to let me know the gift phenomenally early because my travel scheduel from work is so unpredictable.

O.k., see? Exhausted. It's mentally draining to write down the things which are mentally draining to think about all the time.

Ow, my head.