(Please read in Ren Hoek-Type accent)

I've coated my whooooole body in lead. Duct tape? Don't be a FOOL, man! I want to be safe!

www.jenandbri.com

Can I just tell you about my day yesterday? Ready? Commence Bitching!

I have been a little sick the passed few days, and yesterday was the worst. I had that gotta-sneeze-but-can't-thing that makes you look like you've been crying out of one eye. Fabu. SO, I'm busting ass in the field, wet snow in the hair, freezing outside, Sahara Sunrise inside the offices. I took the day off Friday due to heavy snow fall, so I couldn't very well go home early THIS week, it would throw off the axis of the earth, no?

ANYway, I get home to find that I can't make a phone call, because Verizon thinks we haven't paid them. Sure, especially since I pay my phone bill w/my COMPANIES money, right. So I can't make a phone call, AND i can't CALL them to find out why... THEY ONLY HAVE 9 TO 5 CUSTOMER SERVICE. Now, correct me if I'm wrong... isn't Verizon one of the biggest companies in America? Isn;t THIS America? Land of the overworked?? Hell, I can call Tempest at 3:45 am and order something to shrink my vagina, or enhance my sexual needs (she's good like that), but I can't get the PHONE COMPANY!!!!!????

Color me spoiled.

So I through a tantrum, realize I can still make 800# calls, and set about to do some work on my ancient HAG of a lap top. As the computer is loading, I open my mail. See, three days before X-mas, my wallet was stolen. Totally my fault, I put my purse down and walked away. A terrible habit that finnally caught up with me. Someone swiped the wallet, and returned the purse. I knew that the wallet would end up in some garbage can soon, because there was no money in it. The WAS, however, $1,300 worth of UNSIIGNED American Express Corporate Travelers Checks in there. When the wallet was recoverd an hour later (in just enough time for me to cancel EVERY credit card I own, leaving my monetary hands tied three days before X-mas), the perp had taken only three of those. I guessed that they were punk kids, and wouldn't know what to do with them anyway.

I was wrong. The fucker took them to a Citibank and cashed them! Now, because I was too stupid to sign them when I got them, I'M responsible for paying for them. Happy days.

The silver lining? The asshole cashed them at a Citibank, he had to write his driver's licence number on them and ss# I think. I'm gonna send SOMEONE to jail this year!

On a happier note, I went to be fitted for Jem's bridesmaid dresses (they're being made from scratch) and I lost an inch from my waist since I was last measured for anything. Actually, I don't think I lost it so much as it fell down into my hips. The dresses are BEAUTIFUL! Of course, all that will be off-set by the merry-maid's-in a-row ring of flowers in our hair.

Whew. I'm spent.

By.


P.S.
Tempest has never actually had any contact with my vagina, OR breasts. Sorry guys.

P.P.S
Scratch is a really nice fabric. A little itchy, though.

P.P.P.S
Remind me to tell you about watching Al's dentist play Stealy Dan to a drunken crowd of 45 year-olds.

Stupid Fracking Blogger! If you go to my last post, you can click on the word "must" to get to the site I was refering to. My stupid choice of color made it impossible to see.

O.k., my sister, Krang, has now got her very own blog, and she's easily one of the funniest people I know. So go there, dammit!

www.jennasis.blogspot.com

Now, I said!

Oh, but you MUST...(hint: Click on their heads... one at a time...)

http://www.nypost.com/news/regionalnews/67973.htm

Please read this, then forward to as many people as possible. I'm suing the guy I used to work for. I can hear some of you shouting for joy from here. He's a compulsive liar w/a God complex, and he owes me 25K. Nice, huh? He's openly admitted to avoiding payment of taxes for the last five years by going chapter 11 and changing business names. He's been more than abusive in the work place, and I'd love to tell you AAAALLLLL about it, but suffice it to say that the last "conversation" I had w/him before I quite consisted of a 1/2 an hour of him screaming, "You're stupid, lazy, and you'll never amount to anything. This company is falling apart and it's because I have people like YOU screwing things up. You're a Fuck-up, you don't deserve to stand in the same room with me...." I wish I was paraphrasing. Sadly, I did not quit immediately. Every time he told me how stupid I was, I believed him. Every time. For four and a half years. Huh. Maybe he was right! The reason he was screaming? I'd gone out door to door the day before and not made enough money to impress the new person I was training.

Please send this article along. If there's enough media and attention behind it, we MAY be able to get this thing to trial.

By the by, for those who do not know me, I'm the brunette in the middle. You don't want to meet ME in a dark ally, huh?