It's times like these when I like to say to myself, "Don't worry... someday we'll all be dead."

I'm speaking to you from beyond the internet. OooooooooooOOOOOooooooohhhhhhh....

Hi. Actually, I'm at my parents house. I just dropped in to say WHY DOES LIFE HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?

Last week I completed the chimp level training required to work at Macy's. It consisted of two days worth of crucial learning, consisting of one six hour computer program instructing us on the complexities of the Macy's cash register (I finished that in 2-1/2 hours), and three hour class on why we shouldn't steal, and why/how to report others stealing. Woo hoo. When I was all done I was told that the schedual for last week was done already, and they couldn't put me on the scheduel until THIS week. I was a little miffed, and none too pleased with the idea of remaining idle with no income for another week.

Then, Halleluia! Sunday night the Lancome manager called and said that if I wanted to start this week she could put me on for Monday night... and Tuesday... and Thursday... and Friday... So this last week has found me gainfully employed. Yea!

Now. For the complicated. Does anyone remember the wayward drug rep companies that never called? Well they both chose THIS week to call. I had a second interview with one of them on Wednesday that went really well, and she wants me to move on to the next step in the interview process... NEXT Tuesday. I'm supposed to start the Payroll company this Monday! Crap! I've already decided that I can't possibly turn down the opportunity to interview with the pharma companies, the salary and bennies are too good. Blah! I had to call the Payroll company and tell them I have a "medical procedure" with my gynocologist that was postponed from this week to next. When in doubt, mention gyno. It kills off all questions. Plus, it opens the door to follow-up appointments.

THEN, yesterday I heard from the OTHER pharma company. They are still reviewing my resume, doing a background check, and I'll hear from them in a week. GAH!!!

It's been a month, and I've been free to see anyone I need to, fro weeks, but NOOoooooo. Gotta do it azt the zero hour, when I'm just starting a new job!!! Pant! Pant!

O.k., rant over. Glad I could check in.

“Oh where, Oh where has my little Han gone? Oh where, Oh where can he be?”



So, Al and I discovered that the little movie theater on Main St. in Islip has $4 tickets for all shows, all seats on Tuesdays. With this in mind, we decided to forego lunch… and dinner, and see Attack of the Clones.

We should have had lunch.

I am a sorry, Lemming-Like excuse for a movie buff. I couldn’t NOT see this movie. Led my midiclorians RIGHT into the clutches of the Dread Black Beast of AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHshitthismoviesucks. Sigh.

Tempest quoted a critic who said that Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman couldn’t have had less chemistry if they were in two separate movies, and GAH how I agree!! My God, you could have taken two loaves of BREAD and smacked them together, and you would’ve gotten better sparks. Every time they were on screen together I was uncomfortable, I actually WISHED for Jar Jar.

AND I WOULDN’T LEAVE JAR JAR IN CHARGE OF THE T.V, REMOTE!!!!!

Aniken was a whining, annoying, PUNK through the whole thing. At least we know where Luke gets it… “But I was gonna go into Toji Station and pick up some power converters!” Shudder.

Amidala spends the entire movie telling Aniken that there can be nothing between them, and then dressing like a HO ALL THE TIME. Did anyone else catch the leather bustier dominatrix get up? Don’t get me wrong, I’D where it… but not around the 18-year-old kid that I’m not supposed to encourage… maybe.

There was actually a scene with the two of them on Naboo, where she comes running up this grassy hill in this flowing dress, laughing, with the snow covered mountains in the background, her arms flung wide… and, OUT LOUD, Al and I spontaneously begin to sing “THE hills are ALIVE!” Then we collapsed into fits of hysterics. I’d have almost forgiven the scene, if they hadn’t gone right to the hackneyed bit of the two of tem rolling over one another in the grass, laughing the single FAKEST laughs in the history of film. I could hear Lucas off screen going, “Laugh! Good, keep rolling! Good, you’re having a good time! You’re falling in Love!”

And the last thing I want to rant about… Amidala’s last outfit. She’s in some white, spandex, hoochi mamma full body suit. It looked good, and was reminiscent of her daughter (who was apparently born with more class). She, along with Aniken and Obiwan get into the scuff you’ve all seen on the preview, and some big Cat monster takes a swipe at her with it’s claws, raking across her back…. conveniently ripping the midriff off her outfit. Sigh. Has anyone seen the previews for Undercover Brother? The scene with the two women fighting? Where they end up just tearing each other’s clothes into more and more revealing outfits? Yeah, that’s all I’m saying.

This movie was Pearl Harbor. The only saving grace was the cool Jedi fight scene at the end. I almost didn’t even mind them giving C3-P0 all those Arnold Schwartzenegger Style tongue in cheek lines. And Yoda’s “they’re after me lucky charms” sword fight was fun, too.

All in all, it was pretty even with the first, and I’ll probably own it because, like I said, I’m a lemming. And I’m fasci9nated by the fact that She still fell in love with him after he TOLD he about his shameless slaughter of a tribe full of Sand People! “Not just the men, but the women and children, too!” Gah! What were they thinking…